fid IV

omg. fid. he came back. yes. he came to the seven e around 10 pm just now. and i was in my shift.

he spoke to me while i'm outside the seven e to take out the garbage.

"buang sampah tu elok elok lah."

and i was like 'that voice sounds familiar' and it was him. there. walking towards me. omg omg! did you know how fluttered i am? sangat kot. the inside of me cant stop smiling. serious shit man!

"eh hai. datang nak masuk kerja ke? shift pukul sebelas eh?" i smiled. with my eyes i guess. muahaha.

"takdelah. tu shift kau."

"daripada mana ni?"

"hentian kajang. saje jalan jalan."

aku buat mulut bentuk 'oh'. then he came into the seven e. standing at the newspaper area while leaning to the ice cream tab or whatever you call it.

and there was the awkward-silence moment. hahaha weird gila kot. then suddenly he asked.

"faez masuk pukul berapa?"

"dia cuti harini." 

"haritu lepak dengan dia hari ahad malam isnin pagi. terserempak dengan bapak kau."

aku 'oh' kan aje. dia cakap lagi.

"nak tanya kau dah tidur ke belum."

"kenapa?"

"nak suruh kau buatkan kek." dia sengih. aku pun sengih sekali.

and there was again. the awkward-silence moment. incredibly uncomfortable. hahahaha.

"haritu aku pergi uniten. tapi tak jumpa pun foodcourt yang kau cakap tu." i'm trying to break the silence.

"laaa. asal tak call aku?"

aku macam ceytt. damn lah. ' aku memang nak call kau. tapi nanti nampak macam terhegeh hegeh pulak.' i didnt answer his question. "aku nak order mcd. dia cakap takleh hantar pulak sebab takde cawangan yang terdekat. merepek kan?"

"da tu kau makan ape?"

"aku order kat hotel. room service."

"order ape?"

"fish and chips. dah lah mahal. tak sedap sangat pun but eatable." 

that awkward-silence moment. aku pulak buat buat jalan dalam store. pegang pegang barang sana sini acah acah susun la konon. kah! pigi dahhh.

"so kau buat ape datang sini?"

" saje datang. nak jumpa kau. takboleh?" he smiled. ' ohh that smiled'

"boleh je. tak cakap pun takboleh."

and. that awkward-silence moment. again. lama jugak yang ni.

"aku balik dulu lah."

i walked towards him. "tu je? takde nak beli pape?"

"takde. aku takde duit sekarang." dia dah ada kat luar seven e dah.

"haaa yelah. byeeee!" i waved at him.

aku masuk dalam store dan tengok dia hilang dari pandangan disebalik cermin tingkap seven e. i did the a thousand miles stare. i smiled. ' how can i move when i still in love with you.' one of the lyrics from lagu the scipt playing inside my head.

and for the . . . times. i lost count. hahah. aku tersengih sendiri. haih cilake.

fid oh fid.

intec game

*commercial break*

happy birthday to you M.A.T ! happy 20th birthday. may all your wishes come true. may Allah bless your life. and i'm so glad to know you until now. hugs and kisses from me.

ok back to the topic.
for the last three days. 23rd may - 25th may. i participated in intec game. well this was my first experience in it. i played for amateur categories not professional. hahah. my game was on saturday. when the day arrived. i felt so nervous. like there was a  million butterflies in my stomach. i have three bout to win the gold medal. i won the first bout and able to proceed to semi final. i defeated the upnm player. wohoo! it was a tough one i guess. she played like a bull. freaking scary dude. hahah. i had to punch her vest so hard that i would have the space to kick her vest to get points. then on semi final. my opponent is my team mate uitm pahang. truthfully i want to win this bout but it wasn't my luck that day. maybe i'm still scared of i-dont-know-what. duh. and i was a bronze medalist. yeayyyy for me! Alhamdulillah. 

tadaaaaaa !

and today was the professional categories and all of uitm pahang players performed their best. one of them was my lesbo number two. que. she was a gold medalist. yeayyyy! proud of her. overall. i am grateful and honored to represent uitm pahang. next time in shaa Allah. i will improve myself to be a much more better player! *all of the sudden sport-spirit* hahahaha.

next focus. karisma 2014. jyeahhhhh!

oh btw. there were two person who captured my attention at the game. *usha usha* shhh. let it be my secret with Him. aha

last but not least. i want to congratulate myself. *pad on my shoulder while saying "good job alia. good job. improve more."*

piece of sheet

fuks. i'm seriously shit missing you. dem la. get a grip girl.

sebab aku ada kat uniten ke yang membuatkan rasa rindu dekat dia naik mencanak canak? macam gampang doe. dah la bosan duduk dalam hotel room sorang sorang. while my mom sibuk dengan event training dia. what i'm gonna do for two days and one night in here? nak cari dia? pfffttt. aku rasa macam terhegeh hegeh pulak. my dignity is higher than you thought dude.

baca buku? dah dua buku nami aku balun tak sampai tiga jam. jimbet. buku tinggal dua je yang belum digodek. aku call kawan kawan aku semua macam busy. time aku free sampai to that extend 'that i can die of boredom' takde orang pulak yang free. haih cilakak.

lately ni. mulut aku banyak mencarut ah. i do notice that. have to change it. mencarut tu tak elok. tapi 'those words' laju je meluncur keluar dari mulut aku. hahah. pedehal? terasa nak cakap. cakap jelah. dah puas. lepas tu diam. senang kan?

ahhhh!! crap crap crap!! dia masih dalam fikiran aku. hampir setiap benda aku buat akan trigger pasal dia.

heyy hati. kau dengar sini. ada orang pernah bagitaw aku ni. and now aku nak bagitaw kau. "jangan kau rindu pada orang yang tak sudi. jangan kau beri hati ni pada orang yang tak sudi menerimanya."

and to you. please vanish away from my mind. thank you.

p/s: agaknya berapa lama kau nak 'crush'kan perasaan aku?

'let go'

its been almost two weeks aku tak contact dia langsung. my feelings for him is not as strong as it was. but its still there. when to think of it. there are things or people that i have to 'let go'. in this case. that particular guy.

sebab apa? sebab aku dah dapat petunjuk daripada Dia. yes. i prayed and asked for His guidance. and i found one. Alhamdulillah. kadang kadang aku rasa perasaan crush ni cuma mainan nafsu je. ataupun aku yang kuat perasan. tapi bukan senang untuk 'let go' things or people yang pernah jadi perkara penting dalam hidup. kan? well this one is obviously a person. or maybe persons. heh.

so whatever it is. i have to 'let go' this particular guy. sepertimana aku telah men'let go'kan orang orang yang pernah hadir dalam hidup aku secara langsung atau tidak langsung. i have to move on.

and the most important thing is that aku redha dengan semua kehendakNya.

oh lagi satu. dia ni second crush aku. first crush kan president. hahahaha. yang lain tu bukan crush kot. they are just a bunch of people coming in and out of my life to teach me lessons. i guess. kah!

cakap pasal orang orang yang pernah muncul dalam hidup aku ni. i once asked myself "kau menyesal tak letting those guys into your life?" dan aku jawab soalan aku dengan "tipulah if cakap tak pernah terdetik rasa menyesal tu. tapi nak menyesal pun tak guna. benda dah jadi. just learn from it and dont make the same mistake again." hmm. yang tu pun depends on orang yang masuk dalam life aku. ahh. nak cerita kang panjang pulak. so biar jelah. hahah.

p/s: aku nak story pasal benda lain. last last benda lain pulak yang terstory sekali. ape sehh.