Monday, 29 December 2014

kimia slash chemistry

- aku dah cakap dah kita ada kimia.

-- kimia kita strong. so sape banyak electron ni? sape nucleus?

- kau nucleus! aku nak electron! hehehe

-- alaaaaa why? kenapa aku pulak nucleus? 

- sebab nucleus satu je. kau rare kan. satu jela.

-- ohhhhhhhh

- aku nak jadi electron. satu je electron.

-- kenapa satu je electron?

- sebab aku nak aku sorang je dapat kau.


pop quiz: how can two different people at two different places say the same word in the same sentence at the same time when the sentence was in their mind at two different situations?

text me the answer bae :*

Saturday, 20 December 2014

A.F.A II

by the time you read this. i already on my way to bangi. happy mid-term break dearest! *senyum sikit* haaaa thats more like it. you dah senyum. nanti i bagi upah ye. masuk buku pun takpe. hahahah. i know how you feel because i feel it too sayang. kan dah cakap kita ada kimia. thanks accompanied me to the terminal. waiting for the bus to move. then only you left.

sayang. i miss you already.
see you in a couple of weeks.
anything. call me okay. 
i'll be there for you *nyanyi macam dalam lagu F.R.I.E.N.D.S tu*

p/s: I LOVE YOU, AFA. *hugs and kisses*

Thursday, 18 December 2014

fragile

"sometimes you must become weak so you can realize how strong you really are."

my feelings is awesome when i'm with you.
"i'm an observer." he said.
"you're a stalker." i said.
what you said this evening. it makes me a fragile human being.
its kinda shocked when you realize that. because most of them wont realize it.
it makes me feel very fragile.
i cant even look at you back then.
i try my best to hold my tears. keep saying 'i love you' to deviate my tears from rolling down.
i am a strong beautiful lady. and i'm glad to be with a strong handsome kind-hearted gentleman.
yes sayang. i'm more than thankful for what i have now.

i love you.
i love my family.
most important i love Him.
our Creator.

p/s: the power of doa can solve everything when He says "Kunfayakun".

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

persahabatan

sebab kau sayangkan sangat persahabatan kau dengan dia.
aku ambil risiko. aku cuma berfikiran rasional. 
tolak tepi sikit ego aku.
tak salah mahu memulihkan yang keruh.
alih alih--
dia dah pergi dulu membina persahabtan yang baru.
meninggalkan yang keruh ini tanpa ada sedikit niat pun nak menjernihkan.
kau pula tersepit antara aku dan dia.
aku tak peduli dengan tindakan dia.
dah dia pilih yang itu.
sekurang kurangnya aku tak rugi apa apa.
aku cuba untuk pulihkan. dia pilih untuk biarkan.
bagi aku--
orang macam tu memang patut hidup dalam mentaliti dia yang jumud tu.
hidup dia hanya dengan dia untuk kepentingan dia.
kalau aku jumpa dia. aku cakap pergi mati.

at least i took the chance to make it right.
at least i try.
but well--
that person doesnt give a fuck.
the end.

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

C.M.T (five point two)

heyyy eg. congrats dapat interview kt uitm jengka. hehe. thanks jugak sebab inform kat saya. nanti time interview tu. buat sehabis baik yeeee. saya doakan awak dapat further study. wishing you best of luck ttm :)

lol, me :* 

Thursday, 11 December 2014

last semester

rasa macam baru semalam masuk uitm.
tup tup tup.
dah nak grad dah. hahaha
selamat berjimba semester akhir.
kita ada matlamat yang jitu.
ANC!

kepada sang arjuna.
terima kasih sudi bersama susah senang.
namamu sentiasa ada dalam doaku.
semoga berjaya dunia akhirat sayang.

p/s: aku tengok semua orang junior dah kat sini. hahahaa

Saturday, 6 December 2014

random IV

he's asleep i guess.
hurmm.
i'm supposed to sleep i guess.
hahaha.

pssttt pssttttt. dear beloved. buy me one of these please *mukacomel*
all made from glasses. handmade dude!
necklace. bracelet. ring. locket.
arghhhh.
sayang. i need one! hahaha
love it.

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

seribu

bila orang yang kau rasa kau dah kenal dia cukup lama.
kau rasa kau pun boleh bersefahaman dengan dia.
dia lah yang boleh masuk dengan kau punya perangai tah pape tu.
dia yang tahan dengan panas baran kau.
dia yang sanggup ketawa menjejeh air liur dengan kau.
dia yang kau rasa satu satu nya orang yang kau rasa kau selesa sangat.
sampai satu tahap kau berdoa pada pencipta kau supaya panjangkan jodoh kau dengan dia.
dan---
tiba tiba dia cakap--
dia rasa kau tak faham dia.

kau rasa kau hancur setiap satu daripada kau kepada seribu.
dan setiap satu daripada seribu itu berkecai lagi seribu.
dan prosess ini berulang seribu kali lagi.

ternyata kau silap.
apa yang kau rasa itu--
hanya rasa semata.
rasa yang takkan pernah hilang untuk seribu tahun.

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

a little bit of little

#1

"mama. let say lah kan..."

"yup?"

"kaklong dengan alif ni takde jodoh. i'll leave it to you."

"kaklong. jodoh tu semua kat tangan Allah. you pray for the best to you from Him."

"yes mama. the power of doa---"

"---lagi satu. kenal dulu hati budi masing masing."

"memang laa. kalau dia datang datang terus ajak kawen. kaklong tinggal kan je dia."

"haaaa tahu pun."

*both laughs*


#2

'i miss you like at three pm in the evening eventhough i'm busy doing something. because its feel a lot better than i'm missing you at three am in the morning just because i feel lonely.'

in other words. i miss you every single time. take note that booster :)


#3

busy as a bee this couple weeks. may Allah ease everything. Ameen.


p/s: sempat lagi mengupdate. padahal nak masak ni. hahaha

Sunday, 16 November 2014

one hour, thirty eight minutes, thirty seconds

sakitnya
sakitnyaa
sakitnyaaa

SAKITNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

leave me alone. bye.

Thursday, 13 November 2014

people change

result final dah keluar bhaii.

yeayyyy! Alhamdulillah. i achieved my target *sujud syukur*

so aku tanya my friend ni. kang tak tanya cakap ape pulak kan. kenal dekat setahun  lebih kat uitm.

"weh, so result amacam?"

"kau dapat berapa?"

"aku tanya kau dulu doe. dekan eh?"

"dekan. kau dekan?"

"Alhamdulillah dekan. kau dapat berapa? mind sharing? hehe?"

"bio kau dapat A?"

"dapat. why?"

"mesti empat leper an?"

"bio kau tak A ke?"

"takk"

"kau dapat 3.* something ke?"

"takk?"

"baiklah. anyway congrats dapat dl. senyum sikittt"



then kawan aku lagi sorang call aku.

"congrats dl."

"thanks. kau pun sama. congratulations jugak. dl jugak an?"

"tak sehebat kau doe. eh, *** dapat 3.* je. bio dia kantoi sikit."

"ohh okay. dia bagitahu kau eh?"

"ha ah. tadi."

"okay."

"..."

"..."


kau tahu apa aku rasa? sakit hati. dia boleh bagitahu kat kawan dia. tapi bukan aku.
takpelah. mungkin ada sebab dia buat macam tu.
aku fikir positive jelah. terasa tu memang ada.

people change.

Saturday, 8 November 2014

whatsapps

"best ws dengan mama?"

"nak gugur jantung i tahu?"

"cemana you boleh ws dengan mama?"

"i reply yang you hantar gambar tu. but then i realised. i replied 10 minutes lambat. i ingat you pegang fon mama lagi."

"mana ade dah. mama keluar dah time tu. ape you rasa ek time baca ws tu?"

"cuak. berdebar. nak pengsan. nak muntah. semua ada you tahu tak?"

"ohh. okay. hehe. so ni dah makan belum?"

"belum. baru nak makan. masa i baca ws td. i baru nak suap nasi dalam mulut. terus terbantut. pinggan tolak tepi. i jalan pergi luar. ambil angin dulu. i fikir ape nak balas kat your mom ni. type type type. delete delete delete."

"hahaha. kenapa macam tu?"

"yelahh. nak fikir ayat yang sesuai nak reply. kang reply salah ayat. masak i."

"lepas tu you reply ke?"

"lama jugak i dah taip. then tunggu. nak send ke tak. nak send ke tak. hahhh. send jelah."

"hehe okay sayang."

"mama takde cakap pape ke?"

"takde pun. youuu. what if ayah i yang ws you?"

"terus berdarah hidung i sayang. masuk icu. koma tiga hari."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

i laughed so hard until i was rolling under the bed. and still laughing with tears coming out.

i love you to the moon and back alif fahmi! :*

Thursday, 6 November 2014

library

four months ago.

"cepat. saya nak buat kerja ni." aku tengah on kan lappy.

"ye. buat lah. saya teman awak." kau tarik kerusi duduk sebelah aku. 

aku perasan. kau diam je sejak pagi tadi. aku tanya sepatah. kau senyum. aku tanya sepatah lagi. kau angguk. takpun kau geleng. pelik.

sambil mata pandang screen lappy. aku tanya "awak okay ke?"

muka tekun.

diam.

okay. takpelah. aku kena settle kan kerja aku dulu.

"ni macam mana? nak kena tulis ape ni? kenapa jadi macam ni?" bertalu talu soalan aku tanya.

bila toleh kat kau. "lahaiiiiii. tido pulak."

muka lena.

'penat aku celoteh sorang sorang. teman konon.' aku tepuk tepuk lengan kau suruh bangun.

kau cakap "saya tutup mata je. sakit kepala."

aku buat mimik muka 'ohhhh' and teruskan dengan kerja aku. sikit lagi nak siap. lepas tu baru slow talk dengan kau.

last last baru aku taw kenapa kau diam je. kecelaruan identiti rupanya. kahkahkah. 

takdelah. hahaha. gurau je. masa ni is right after kau ada  timeframe dengan dia dan aku. gap yang aku tak suka. sebab kau ada dia tapi kau nak aku. and tambah pulak dengan budak yang suka kau tu. at the same time aku dah minat kau.

aku sakit. so the day before that. aku buat something untuk avoid sakit tu. and that something buat kau terasa. and thats the reason kau diam. kau fikir sampai kau sakit kepala.

esoknya. which was this day. aku buat like nothing happened. siap ajak kau pergi library lagi. minta teman buat kerja. hahahah lagi lah kau sakit kepala kan? kesian.

the end.

Sunday, 2 November 2014

distortion

"missing you is a part of moving on."

people often says that.

saying that i miss you doesnt mean i want you back in my life.

fullstop.

same goes to 'i like you' or 'i adore you.'

saying that i like you doesnt mean i want you in my life. it is just a life cycle. i like you. you like me. i hate you. you hate me. it is only a feeling distraction.

i am not a person who will easily fall in love. love is subjective. too broad. too wide. too common. yet very powerful to build and destroy.

macam ni lah. aku minat dia. and aku tak bagi tahu sape sape pun. sebab aku tahu perasaan minat tu nanti akan pudar. just aku memang niat nak kawan dengan dia. so berkawan lah aku dengan dia. until one day he confessed. "aku suka kau sebenarnya."

but he knows. aku dah ada yang punya. so he is fine with it. jadi kawan pun dah okay. for me. friendship is important. losing a friendship is more heartbroken than losing a lover. unless aku terkawan dengan kawan yang perangai binatang. tu boleh pergi mati. 

to you my dearest. you never left. you always here. *tangankanandidada*

p/s: "lidah tu lagi tajam daripada pedang." now i know why. 

Saturday, 1 November 2014

janji

kalau aku baik. mungkin akan aku tunaikan janji aku itu.
kalau aku jahat. aku buat buat taktahu saja pada janji aku itu.
takkan aku lupa apa yang kau pernah buat pada aku.
sikit pun tidak.
tapi. kemungkinan besar. aku buat taktahu je.
hahaha. kau dah mati.
dah jadi sejarah. dan aku benci sejarah.
berdoa yang tak baik untuk orang lain adalah tak baik.
makanya. aku doakan yang kau dapat balasan setimpal dengan apa yang kau lakukan.
Dia maha adil.
aku percaya dengan setiap janji janji Nya.

Wednesday, 22 October 2014

happy bornday

to you, my dearest Alia.
happy bornday. i love you. may Allah bless you through your entire life and after. may all your dreams and wishes come true. 
lots of love, me.

hahahaha. aku orang first wish untuk diri aku sendiri. yeayyy. happy birthday to me! and i am still sweet sixteen with four years of experience. for those who wished for me too. thankyou very much. hugs and kisses from me.

p/s: karisma nanti buat elok elok. last karisma for me i guess.

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

gugur

pernah kau rasa jantung kau gugur sebab benda yang tak patut sangat?
takpun. semua anggota badan kau gugur satu per satu.
atas alasan apa?
sebab--
banyak sebab boleh ditulis.
fikir sendiri lah.

p/s: goodluck final exam. moga Dia permudahkan segalanya. dengan syarat kau usaha sepenuhnya.

Sunday, 5 October 2014

skype-ing

cuti raya haji.
everynight skype with aiman.
hehe.

i love you to the moon and back.

lots of love, your awesome shinkansen!

Friday, 3 October 2014

random questions

answer all of these questions within two seconds.

what is your favorite number?
two.

what are you thinking right now?
him.

how many trousers do you have?
cant remember.

the last time you fell in love?
two years back. i guess.

where are you?
in my room.

what is the first thing you do after waking up?
sleep back.

where is your phone?
there. on the floor.

what are you wearing?
tshirt.

who is your first crush?
someone. hahaha.

what do you see on your left?
my sister. sleeping.

what time is it?
almost 330am.

do you love someone?
yes.

do you have haters?
i think so.

one thing you always bring to a journey.
bantal sun.

what are gonna do tomorrow?
i dont know.dont think about it yet.

how many stuffed toys do you have on your bed?
err. maybe five.

what are you feeling right now?
headache.

why are you doing this?
just for fun.

this is autopublish. the end.

Thursday, 2 October 2014

demand

hai. aku dah sampai bangi. post ni aku tulis sebab ada orang demand. haha.
okay.
to that person. this is for you.
"hai you. i dah post dah. but actually. i dont know what to write right now. so i'm just typing. mengikut jari yang menari di atas papan kekunci komputer. hahahaa baku kan ayat?"

aiman. have a safe journey. dah sampai text. i'll be waiting.
btw. goodluck for your final exam. may the Creator ease everything for you. and i'll pray for you and your happiness. if anything. contact me. i'll be there for you. stay positive. stay strong. love Him. love your family. and love me too. kahkahkah!

yeayyy done! nanti if dah baca. diam. hahaha okbye. goodnight.

one last wish for you. "may god bless you till morning light. if ghost come and fright. i'll be there at your side."

p/s: happy october alia. ohh home sweet home.

Sunday, 21 September 2014

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

classroom II

hey you. yes. you again. i know what you did last few a hours ago. you've been caught red handed. hahhh! see. i told you. if you want to sneak peek at her. make sure no one is looking. no one. not even anyone. got it? btw. i saw you smiled at her. saying the silence i love you to her. how adorable you are. and you also text with her during classes. just make sure not to disturb her studies okay? i'm just wondering. what do you feel when you look at her? 

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

classroom

hey you. yes you. the one who is always sitting on the first row. someone noticed that you often smiles when you look at her. always turn your chair 45 degree towards her. peek on her from time to time. and you always say 'i love you' without the voice to her when your eyes meet with hers. well. things like that do happen. for two strangers. the end.

Monday, 1 September 2014

sometimes

sometimes. i just wonder. i'm the one who's always make you hurt. how much can you take it? how maximum it could be? i'm sorry. am i good enough for you? it feels like i'm the bad guy. seeing you hurt a lot making me want to distance myself from you. so that things will be normal again. we are too close. too close until i cant see the gap. when there is no gap. once it tear apart. it cant be brought back together. because the damage is huge. another thing is. it feels like i'm being too dependable on you. and i dont like that. i am an independent person. when i met you. i simply let my guards down. it fears me a lot. i dont want to owe people in any aspects. money. time. humanity. and others. but i just did. sometimes. being too happy scares me. because in just any time. you can be crying your lungs out for a million reasons. or just for no reason at all. sometimes. i have to learn back from scratch. basic thing. got to learn how to love myself again. too much negative vibes in me kills me from the inside. like i said. i have my own ego. and i still have it now. whatever. sometimes i hate you. like fucking hate you. at the same time. i dont want you to go. i hope that i wont get bored with you. is letting you in is another mistake? hope not. we both should try harder. i'm hurt. but i'm fine.

Sunday, 31 August 2014

merdeka

selamat merdeka Malaysia. selamat bebas selama lima puluh tujuh tahun. moga Malaysia sentiasa aman sentosa sampai bila bila.

Malaysia dah merdeka. bila pulak aku yang nak merdeka?
merdeka daripada perasaan durjana ini?

haha. get a grip girl! dont get emotionally fucked up. again. dont be a disaster lee.

p/s: *inhale* ambil penawar. *exhale* buang penyakit.

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

jahanam

"awak selalu buat saya down."

perghh. ayat kau memang superb! sentap siaaa. aku bagi lima bintang. untuk dengar ayat macam ni daripada kau. aku terasa. dalam jugak. maaflah if aku selalu buat kau down. tak perasan pulak. takpe. kita masih dalam sesi suai kenal. normal lah tu. kan? everything have ups and downs. so does feelings.

lepas kau dah cakap macam tu. terus aku terfikir. 'aku dah menjahanamkan dia ke?'

p/s: i guess. i put too high expectation on you.

p/s/s: better lower it a bit, A. please dont be a disaster, lee!

Sunday, 24 August 2014

mama cakap III

mama cakap setiap pagi lepas bangun tidur. tarik nafas and cakap "masukkan yang hak". hembus nafas and cakap "keluarkan yang bukan hak". buat tiga kali everyday. so that kita hanya akan ambil apa yang hak kita dan pulangkan apa yang bukan hak kita.

bila aku berdoa pada Dia supaya tunjukkan aku kebenaran. makin kurang yang jadi kawan aku. whether they be my enemy, silent enemy or a total stranger. aku rasa macam aku dah hilang kawan baik aku kat sini. 'dia pun sama ke?'

tabahkan aku. cekalkan aku wahai pencipta alam.

Friday, 22 August 2014

C.M.T (five point one)

flashback. a few few days ago. hahaha.

"hai."

"hai."

"awal balik?"

"awal?? dah lama saya duk jengka."

"seminggu ja pun."

"kita je takde masa nak jumpa."

"ada je masa. awak yang tanak. orang dah tawar hati kan. saya paham."

"mana ada syg."

"iye syg. iyeeee."

"saya susah nak tak sayang orang ni. if dah sayang. saya akan sayang."

"still sayang saya laaa ni?" awak always ttm saya. always."

"mesti lah. cuma entah lah. cara saya memang macam tu kott. ttm always an?"

"..."

"saya tetap sayang awak."

"heheh. nak gambar kat fon awak. buat kenangan cerita kitaaaa."

"ni banyak sangat ni. satu gambar dua hengget. cepat bayar."

"hahahah free tak boleh?"

"sorry. berak pun bayar syg. hihihi."

-----

"kelakar laa bayangkan awak kecek kelate. hahaha."

"bakpo mu suko sokmo? haha."

"iyelahh. byeee."

"hahah bye dah? iyela. orang tak sudi kan? wewewewee."

"aku sepak kau nanti. aishh dia yang menolak. hahahahahaa."

"kau aku dah dengan aku. ganasss."

"..."

"saya tak pernah tolak awak pun syg."

"nanti if ade niat nak letak pic kita kat fb cakap taw. takut crush saya jeles. if ade niat nak letak lahh. hahahaha."

"okayy. berehh. uuu ada crush dah? bagus bagus."

"elehh. ttm kita tak efek apa apa pun an?"

"takpun. kita ni macam ni taw. time saya dah suka awak, awak macam tanak layan je. time awak dah suka saya balik, ada orang dah masuk line. hahahaa."

"mane mane gf saya sebelum ni memang rasa macam tu. jenis layan, pastu if tak contact, lama jugak. gaya saya macam tu laa."

"haaa saya bukan gf awak."

"hahahaha."

"saya ttm awak. kita lain."

"yeahhh. cerita kita bengong sikit. hahaha."

-----

"..."

"..."

"saya tanak awak sakit."

"ye takpe. saya okay."

" *smiley* "

"lagipun saya sekarang nak cari cinta sejati. hahaha. malas nak ingat yang lepas lepas. yang ni target lock terus amek je."

"yeahhh serius sikit lain kali. jangan main tarik tali macam kita. nanti dah jumpe bagitau eh? i want to be happy for you :)"

"hahah saya tak pandai nak serius sangat. okay nanti saya bagitau laa kat awak keling."

"tayah serius sangat. saya cakap serius sikit je kan? ishh keling ni."

"yang ni nak cari yang serius dah. nak kawen dah. hahaha."

"ade calon dah?"

"entah. kadang kadang rasa macam ada. kadang kadang rasa macam takde. sebab target tak lock lagi. hahah."

"lock lah cepat. nanti terlepas lagi. dont let banana fruit two times."

"takpe. yang terlepas tu saya tak rugi ape ape pun. orang tu yang rugi sebab dia dah tinggalkan orang yang dah sayang dia. tak terasa? hahahahah."

"takpun. wekkkkkkk. siottttt. haha saya tataw pun awak sayang saya macam tu sekali. awak suka main main kan?"

"hahahah yelaa syg."

" *emoticons* "

"silap saya. kena ubah dah sikap saya ni. ok lah. saya nak tido dah. esok ade class taekwondo pulak syg. kbyee. take care taww."

"okay syg. take care jugak."

-----

to be continued . . .

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

soalan final

"dia tahu pasal sipolan?"
"tahu. dia jeles sangat dengan sipolan tu."
--
"sipolan tahu pasal kau dengan dia?"
"tahu jugak."
--
"kau still sayang dekat sipolan tu?"
"sayang. tapi tak sekuat dulu."
--
"kau serius dengan dia?"
"aku nak serius dengan dia."
--
"korang dah declare ke?"
"declare? *pause* tanya lah dia."

hahaha. soalan soalan ni lagi susah daripada soalan final.
i have a long way to go.

p/s: kau pernah tak rasa menyampah gila babi tahap cipan dengan orang tu sampai kau nak tengok muka dia pun kau rasa menyampah? menyampah okay. bukan benci. MENYAMPAH. aku ada. sekarang. fakk.

Monday, 18 August 2014

lepas asar

kau pernah tak rasa nak marah je tak tentu pasal?

aku pernah.

lagi lagi bila tidur lepas asar.

sebab mak aku selalu cakap.

"tak elok tidur lepas asar. nanti gila."

rasa tu masih ada sampai sekarang.

even now dah nak masuk tengahari esoknya.

damn lah.

p/s: postive alia. postive. rasa macam something missing inside me. hurmm.

Friday, 15 August 2014

C.M.T (five point o)

hai awak! haiiiii!! haiiiiiiiiiii!!! *lambai lambai yang overexcited*
hehee sihat? nak duit rayaaaa *hulur tangan*

lama saya tak jumpa awak. berapa bulan eh? enam bulan lebih kot. kan? hehe. i miss you. saya tak tipu. jumpa awak haritu buat rasa rindu tu membuak buak. sukanyaaaa. even awal awal sem ni dah tak excited dah nak jumpa awak. sebab awak tak jumpa saya pun time part four. hmmm *merajuk kejap* eh eh saya tak reti lah merajuk merajuk ni. hahaha.

tapi. awak cakap awak tak jumpa saya. awak tak jumpa saya yang dulu. sebab saya dah ada dia. haishh. sedih jugak dengar awak cakap macam tu. tapi saya tahu. awak kuat. boleh adapt. elehhh. star kan? memang cenggitu. hahaha. jumpa jumpa saya terus tanya pasal dia.

“mane sayang baru awak? saya nak tengok.”

“eishh. haha malulah. takpayah.”

“alaaa tu pun na kedekut.”

“ala ala jangan la cakap macamtu. awak suka saya ke sekarang?”

“kalau saya cakap saya suka awak sekarang macam mane? saya sukalah.”

“kenapa awak suka saya sekarang? saya suka awak lama dah. awak je yang tak perasan.”

“dah saya dah sayang awak sekarang. nak buat macam mane?”

“awak lambat. lambat sikit je. kita kan ttm.”

“iye syg. iye.”

“awak balik bila?”

“amboi. dah la dah tanak kita, ni nak halau pulak.”

“saya tanya je. tak halau pun.”

“takkan ku pulang selagi misi ku tak berjaya.”

“misi ape?”

“misi mendapatkan sayang saya balik.”

ahhhhh jammedddd doe!!! teeetttttt!! hahahahah. tapi awak cakap kat saya takpayah jammed. awak okay je. kita kan ttm. hehe.

so sepanjang awak kat jengka ni. saya jumpa awak tiga kali je. dua kali time training. sekali time kita keluar makan. jujur. i can feel the gap between us. its just me? or you're the one who distant yourself from  me. takpe. i get it. deep inside it hurts. kan? sorry. i'm sorry. maybe you want to play safe. who knows? and now. bila cakap dengan saya je mesti ada perli. nganjing. ayat yang buat saya terasa. haha siottt. saje kan? nak jatuh kan mental saya kan? terukkkk. tapi takpe. dah biasa dah gurau gurau kasar dengan awak. ececehh.

“saya tengok awak kurus je tadi. kata gemok.”

“kurus? rase macam da gemok je. ke awak salah tengok orang ni? haha”

“laaaaa tadi bukan alia saya yang dulu la ek? alaaaa hihihi."

“hehehe ke awak tengok alia yang lagi satu?”

“tu laa.mati mati ingat alia saya. rupanyaa tidakk.”

“heyy. perli nampak. kenapa awak jelesss? whyyy?”

“gila tak jeles. terlambat kusadari. hehe”

"alaaaa. awak lambat sikit je.”

“nasib badan. dah biasa macam tu. sedeyyy.”

“alaaa alaaa..haa boleh tak if nak cakap ‘ade jodoh tak kemana?’ hahah”

“jodoh awak kat kelantan ni. satu class pulakk. huhuhu”

“masuk la class saya. nanti ade dua jodoh.”

“tanak ah. nanti ganggu pulak. bukan gayaku rebut pacar orang. hihihi”

“yelaa saya tahu awak terluka. Macam mana nak ubat kan?”

“robek syg hati ni.”

ada panjang lagi. hahahah. sikit sikit dah laa. 

btw. saya dapat selfie dengan awak. yeayyyy! nah nah. tengok lah. tengok lahhhh.
ni time first jumpa awak after six months. *sengih sengih*

bila jumpa awak the next traning. mata awak sakit. hahah skodeng orang lettewww :3 hahahahaha. skodeng siapa haa? and esok malamnya kita keluar makan. kesian que. 'abg syg' dia tak datang. katanya nak study. kahkahkah! malam tu macam biasa je. macam krikk krikk pun ada jugak. hahahaha. rasa pelik doe. sumpaa pelik. cerita kita pelik syg. 

awak suka saya. time tu saya tak suka awak lagi.
bila saya dah suka awak. awak layan saya macam nak taknak je.
bila awak dah suka saya balik. ada orang dah masuk line. 
hahaha jodoh kita sampai ttm je. 
and saya tahu awak jenis tak serius. so am i. kan? kan? kan?

duhh. panjang pulak entry pasal awk ni syg. sambung next time boleh? saya nak tido.

sebelum tutup mata. nahh. ada lagi gambar kita. hohoho.
yeayyy! dapat snap pic dengan awak time saya part 5.

“kesian awak sakit sebab saya.”

“hihihi saya sakit takpe syg. janji awak happy. saya ade sokmo untuk awak. sayang saya tak?”

“saya sentiasa sayang awak. ttm always”

to be continued . . .

Thursday, 14 August 2014

damn


ye. aku jeles. dah kenapa?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
tapi kan. aku tanya balik kat aku.
kan?

Monday, 11 August 2014

rindu

Tuhan. aku pohon. hilangkan rasa sakit ini.
atau.
kau kuatkan aku hadapi rasa sakit ini.
sakit ? atau patut aku sebutkan sebagai nikmat.
nikmat rindu.
dan sampai rindu aku kepada dia yang aku rindui.
mungkin ada buruk.
dan.
mungkin juga ada baiknya.
itu semua caturan-Mu.

p/s: being too dependable is not my type. do own back that satisfaction lee!

Friday, 8 August 2014

A.F.A

i like you.
i like you.
i like you.
i like you a lot.

"saya cakap kat dia "kalau aku dengan alia ni tak jadi. aku dah taknak cari orang lain dah"."

"saya tak gesah dengan masa silam awak. awak dah cukup baik untuk saya."

"saya sayang awak lebih daripada saya sayang nyawa saya."

you are my alif fahmi.
my booster.
my sayang.
my aiman.
my garfield.
my hemo hemo.

i love you.

Wednesday, 30 July 2014

S O R R Y

dear paww.

i'm truly sorry from the deepest inside of me. never meant to hurt you in any kind of ways. i dont know why but i felt guilty seeing you hurt eventhough you pretend to be happy in front of me. i've just noticed yesterday. about that song. yes. the song that you gave me. it felt like something just hit my face so hard and suddenly realize that the song that i gave him was the song that you gave me two months earlier. ouchh man! i'm so fucked off.

paww. again i am so sorry. i dont want to lose our friendship. i know i am the first girl who are so close to you. sorry that i kinda give you hope. shit i feel so bad right now. i want you to know that i really dont have the intention to game you or take advantage upon your kindness. i'm not playing with you nor your feelings. i want to be your friend who you can tell all your stories, your days, your whatevernots. and yet i dont want to create you as my enemy. yes. maybe things are not gonna be the same again. as it never would. and about this guilt. how can i make amends to this guilt of mine towards you?

btw. we both once said that ''this couple things is such a wasted" kan? see? at least we are on the same track about something. hehe. paww. i'll always pray for your happiness. always pray that you will meet a way much more better girl than me. so you can love her with all your heart. knowing me is part of your life. and you still have a long way to go. 

with this. i want to thank you because you are my friend and still be. thank you for your concern about me. thank you for being with me during my ups and downs especially when i'm being introvert. and lastly thank you for being matured as i know you are a big boy and big boy can handle things wisely. hopefully things are gonna be fine between us. at least when we are good. one of my problems is solved. 

paww. would you be happy for me? everything happens for reasons. and knowing you also has its own reasons. you are my friend. and i love you.

lots of love, lee.

p/s: rude - magic

paww :/

paww. i'm sorry.

lagu yang kau bagi tu rupanya is lagu tu.
aku tak perasan pun.
maaf maaf.

dekat dua bulan lebih kau bagi.
demm. aku rasa bersalah. serious shit.

btw, sorry again sebab dah lama tak contact kau.
mesti kau ingat aku dah lupa kawan kan?
hurm hurmm.

paww, i'm truly sorry. doesnt mean to hurt you in any ways.

sincerely, lee.

Friday, 25 July 2014

apa aku rasa

kau nak sangat stalk kan? 
haaa padan muka wa bagi. 
padan dengan muka lu.

--

bila dah ada kat tempat tinggi tinggi ni
kalau jatuh memang kena setepek!
wa tak tipu. sakit bhaiii.

--

sakit doe. aku rasa
sakit.
kenapa eh?

--

aku happy kau dah ada relationship.
iye. aku happy untuk kau.
cerita kita tu simpan sendiri sudaa.

--

aku tanak ada kena mengena dengan ex kau.
mahupun ex sape sape.
kenapa perlu? jawab ah.

--

aku rasa kita bergerak laju sangat.
jalan atas angin kan?
memang cenggitu ye dak?

--

takde sape boleh jumpa hati aku.
mungkin aku dah bagi kau jiwa aku.
itupun suku je.
if nak mintak balik, buruk siku tak?

--

bila aku baca balik post lama lama.
aku sengih sorang sorang.
nostalgia bhaii. aku tak pernah lupakan kau pun.

--

ye. ego aku memang tinggi.
dan masih tinggi.
kau sanggup panjat?
dinding dinding yang aku bina tu.
sanggup? 

--

let say aku yang problematic.
kau nak ke stay dengan aku?

--

haaa sebab tu lah aku takde
twitter !
kahkahkahkahkahhh

--

dah balik kelantan tu.
nanti kim salam lah kat awek.
cakap selamat hari raya sekali
bagi pihak aku. cehh hahahaa

--

hopefully takde pape.
takde pape lah. takde pape.
everything gonna be fine.
just fine.

--

aku boleh tipu orang lain.
tapi aku takboleh tipu diri aku sendiri.

sama macam kau.
kau boleh tipu aku.
tapi bukan diri kau sendiri.

--

cenggini lah.

"please dont be a disaster" AL.

*tu yang apa aku rasa sekarang*

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

ohh bulan

ohh bulan.
kita macam belangkas sejak dua tahun dulu.
cepat betul masa bertiup.
dan sem ni.
sem terakhir aku dengan kau.
sedih. jujur aku cakap. 
aku sedih.
siapa nak jogging sama sama dengan aku?
siapa nak dengar cerita merepek aku?
siapa nak jadi bahu untuk aku menangis?
siapa nak kongsi ketawa dengan aku?
sem depan.
hanya aku.
aku sorang kena berperang.
at least sem ni. 
aku ada kau.
bulan.

tuhan. kuatkan dia sepertimana kau kuatkan aku.

Friday, 11 July 2014

aiman zhafree

tuan empunya nama.
kadang kadang aku rasa dia wujud.
dan kadang kadang tidak.
disebalik aiman zhafree.
ada seorang lagi.
dia.
dia telah hadir dalam hidup aku.
dalam tempoh dua minggu.
setakat ini.
selamat berkenalan.
alif fahmi aziz.


Saturday, 28 June 2014

dia

dia. dia yang aku minat dari sem lepas. tapi sem lepas rasa minat tu tak kuat sangat. sebab kitorang tak contact pun. dan aku takde no fon dia. dia pun just kirim salam je. and roomate aku pun dah bagi warning awal awal cakap jangan rapat sangat dengan dia sebab dia dah ada awek. so rasa minat tu tak kuat sangat. and by the end of last semester. rasa tu just fade away.

and this sem. aku tukar class sebab class aku dulu class physics. aku pulak amek bio. tu yang aku masuk class roomate aku aka class dia jugak. haaaaa. start this sem. perasaan tu timbul kembali. mungkin sebab aku berinteraksi dengan dia lebih kerap berbanding last sem kot. and dia pun dah ade no fon aku. so kitorang sekarang bertexting lah jugak. dah tiga hari aku text dengan dia je. haishhh.

malam ni aku bukak fb. aku cari nama dia. jumpa. dah belek belek fb dia. baru aku perasan. dekat atas sekali aku ternampak 'confirm request'. aku tergamam. bila masa dia add aku? aku check friend request aku. nama dia dekat bawah bawah jugak. kira lama jugak. aku reply text dia.

"hahahha. baru aku perasan wehhhhhh"

"perasan ape?"

"takde apelah. lupakan"

"aku tahu. baru kau perasan aku add kau dekat fb. tapi kau tak approve kan? hahahah"

"ha ah wehhh. lama dah ke kau add aku?"

"agak lah. awal cuti sem. nampak tak? orang yang kau minat tu. minat kau dulu. hahahah"

aku terdiam. kaget. dia minat aku? dia tahu aku minat dia? bahana apakah ini? babi. babi. babi. kesian babi jadi mangsa makian aku. hahahah

terus aku tak reply. haha. jammm wehh jammedddd!!

last last aku reply jugak.

"alahh kau assumed je kan? kau pun tak sure lagi siapa yang aku minat tu."

apa yang dia reply lepas tu. aku biar kan jelah. rasa macam main tarik tali pun ada. haihh.

tapi aku tahu. dia dah ada awek. and dia selalu remind kat aku yang kitorang ni 'kawan'. dengar perkataan tu je dah buat aku sakit. define sakit? carilah sendiri. masing masing punya perception masing masing.

pasal dia. setakat ni jelah aku cerita. sebab aku taknak siapa siapa pun tahu yang aku minat dia. dan aku yakin rasa minat tu akan jadi suka. bila dah suka. aku jugak yang sakit. knowing the truth is hurt. rasa sakit ni yang aku tak pernah serik. aku pun tak tahu kenapa.

p/s: aku berharap sangat satu hari nanti aku boleh cakap macam ni. "rest in peace, crush."

Saturday, 21 June 2014

kawan


"kita memang akan ada seorang kawan yang kerja dia gelak je setiap masa. kawan macam tu perlu disimpan elok elok. sebab dia lah orang yang paling perlukan kita. cuma kita je yang tak perasan. kadang kadang."

p/s: aku masih guna henfon nokia tu. dia lasak.tu yang aku suka. lasak.

Sunday, 15 June 2014

paww :)

this week balik rumah sekejap. reason? katanya jengka takde letrik weekend ni. haha. but time nak balik tu ada ternampak memo. takde letriknya next week. cettt. whatever sebab i already bought the ticket. balik lah jawabnyee.

sampai bangi petang. at pekeliling terserempak dengan haikal. minta tolong dia belikan tiket balik jengka. alang alang dia dah dekat barisan depan. hahaha. and then tumpang dia sampai bangi. alang alang dah satu jalan. btw. dia yang offer untuk tumpang dia. he send me sampai depan rumah. thanks haik :)

when i arrived home. ada adik adik je. i'm starving. cari makanan kat dapur. nothing. ahhhh. call paww ajak keluar makan. satu jam jugak tunggu dia. last last cendol dibalun. hahaha. well. duduk rumah ni. rasa nak lepak je. sikit sikit tidur. sikit sikit makan. mana tak makin comel. kahkahkah!

lastnight. skype with paww. talked about stuffs. taught him how to do printscreen. explain to him some malay words yang dia tak pernah dengar. cerita pasal minor problems i'm facing at uitm. talked about him who was bored to death to wait untuk masuk ump. but most of the time. we just stared at each other. staring contest gituu. hahaha. well. thats usually how i skype with people. and only a few people i skype with. including him and her. hmm. suddenly miss them. i miss him. i miss her. ok dah tersasar from original topic.



tadaaaa! ni lah hasil tunjuk ajar for printscreen. hahahaaa. today balik jengka dah. bas pukul 2. hmmm. kat sana hopefully ada internet. senang sikit nak skype dengan 'certain people'. cehhhh. ayat macam tah pape. and senang jugak nak siap kan assignment, project, online quizzes, and other stuff. *klise habis* kah!

frankly speaking. this semester is tough. banyak sangat muscle sem ni. bhahahah!
think positive. may Allah ease everything. *charming smile*

Wednesday, 28 May 2014

fid IV

omg. fid. he came back. yes. he came to the seven e around 10 pm just now. and i was in my shift.

he spoke to me while i'm outside the seven e to take out the garbage.

"buang sampah tu elok elok lah."

and i was like 'that voice sounds familiar' and it was him. there. walking towards me. omg omg! did you know how fluttered i am? sangat kot. the inside of me cant stop smiling. serious shit man!

"eh hai. datang nak masuk kerja ke? shift pukul sebelas eh?" i smiled. with my eyes i guess. muahaha.

"takdelah. tu shift kau."

"daripada mana ni?"

"hentian kajang. saje jalan jalan."

aku buat mulut bentuk 'oh'. then he came into the seven e. standing at the newspaper area while leaning to the ice cream tab or whatever you call it.

and there was the awkward-silence moment. hahaha weird gila kot. then suddenly he asked.

"faez masuk pukul berapa?"

"dia cuti harini." 

"haritu lepak dengan dia hari ahad malam isnin pagi. terserempak dengan bapak kau."

aku 'oh' kan aje. dia cakap lagi.

"nak tanya kau dah tidur ke belum."

"kenapa?"

"nak suruh kau buatkan kek." dia sengih. aku pun sengih sekali.

and there was again. the awkward-silence moment. incredibly uncomfortable. hahahaha.

"haritu aku pergi uniten. tapi tak jumpa pun foodcourt yang kau cakap tu." i'm trying to break the silence.

"laaa. asal tak call aku?"

aku macam ceytt. damn lah. ' aku memang nak call kau. tapi nanti nampak macam terhegeh hegeh pulak.' i didnt answer his question. "aku nak order mcd. dia cakap takleh hantar pulak sebab takde cawangan yang terdekat. merepek kan?"

"da tu kau makan ape?"

"aku order kat hotel. room service."

"order ape?"

"fish and chips. dah lah mahal. tak sedap sangat pun but eatable." 

that awkward-silence moment. aku pulak buat buat jalan dalam store. pegang pegang barang sana sini acah acah susun la konon. kah! pigi dahhh.

"so kau buat ape datang sini?"

" saje datang. nak jumpa kau. takboleh?" he smiled. ' ohh that smiled'

"boleh je. tak cakap pun takboleh."

and. that awkward-silence moment. again. lama jugak yang ni.

"aku balik dulu lah."

i walked towards him. "tu je? takde nak beli pape?"

"takde. aku takde duit sekarang." dia dah ada kat luar seven e dah.

"haaa yelah. byeeee!" i waved at him.

aku masuk dalam store dan tengok dia hilang dari pandangan disebalik cermin tingkap seven e. i did the a thousand miles stare. i smiled. ' how can i move when i still in love with you.' one of the lyrics from lagu the scipt playing inside my head.

and for the . . . times. i lost count. hahah. aku tersengih sendiri. haih cilake.

fid oh fid.

Sunday, 25 May 2014

intec game

*commercial break*

happy birthday to you M.A.T ! happy 20th birthday. may all your wishes come true. may Allah bless your life. and i'm so glad to know you until now. hugs and kisses from me.

ok back to the topic.
for the last three days. 23rd may - 25th may. i participated in intec game. well this was my first experience in it. i played for amateur categories not professional. hahah. my game was on saturday. when the day arrived. i felt so nervous. like there was a  million butterflies in my stomach. i have three bout to win the gold medal. i won the first bout and able to proceed to semi final. i defeated the upnm player. wohoo! it was a tough one i guess. she played like a bull. freaking scary dude. hahah. i had to punch her vest so hard that i would have the space to kick her vest to get points. then on semi final. my opponent is my team mate uitm pahang. truthfully i want to win this bout but it wasn't my luck that day. maybe i'm still scared of i-dont-know-what. duh. and i was a bronze medalist. yeayyyy for me! Alhamdulillah. 

tadaaaaaa !
and today was the professional categories and all of uitm pahang players performed their best. one of them was my lesbo number two. que. she was a gold medalist. yeayyyy! proud of her. overall. i am grateful and honored to represent uitm pahang. next time in shaa Allah. i will improve myself to be a much more better player! *all of the sudden sport-spirit* hahahaha.
next focus. karisma 2014. jyeahhhhh!

oh btw. there were two person who captured my attention at the game. *usha usha* shhh. let it be my secret with Him. aha

last but not least. i want to congratulate myself. *pad on my shoulder while saying "good job alia. good job. improve more."*

Saturday, 17 May 2014

piece of sheet

fuks. i'm seriously shit missing you. dem la. get a grip girl.

sebab aku ada kat uniten ke yang membuatkan rasa rindu dekat dia naik mencanak canak? macam gampang doe. dah la bosan duduk dalam hotel room sorang sorang. while my mom sibuk dengan event training dia. what i'm gonna do for two days and one night in here? nak cari dia? pfffttt. aku rasa macam terhegeh hegeh pulak. my dignity is higher than you thought dude.

baca buku? dah dua buku nami aku balun tak sampai tiga jam. jimbet. buku tinggal dua je yang belum digodek. aku call kawan kawan aku semua macam busy. time aku free sampai to that extend 'that i can die of boredom' takde orang pulak yang free. haih cilakak.

lately ni. mulut aku banyak mencarut ah. i do notice that. have to change it. mencarut tu tak elok. tapi 'those words' laju je meluncur keluar dari mulut aku. hahah. pedehal? terasa nak cakap. cakap jelah. dah puas. lepas tu diam. senang kan?

ahhhh!! crap crap crap!! dia masih dalam fikiran aku. hampir setiap benda aku buat akan trigger pasal dia.

heyy hati. kau dengar sini. ada orang pernah bagitaw aku ni. and now aku nak bagitaw kau. "jangan kau rindu pada orang yang tak sudi. jangan kau beri hati ni pada orang yang tak sudi menerimanya."

and to you. please vanish away from my mind. thank you.

p/s: agaknya berapa lama kau nak 'crush'kan perasaan aku?

Monday, 12 May 2014

'let go'

its been almost two weeks aku tak contact dia langsung. my feelings for him is not as strong as it was. but its still there. when to think of it. there are things or people that i have to 'let go'. in this case. that particular guy.

sebab apa? sebab aku dah dapat petunjuk daripada Dia. yes. i prayed and asked for His guidance. and i found one. Alhamdulillah. kadang kadang aku rasa perasaan crush ni cuma mainan nafsu je. ataupun aku yang kuat perasan. tapi bukan senang untuk 'let go' things or people yang pernah jadi perkara penting dalam hidup. kan? well this one is obviously a person. or maybe persons. heh.

so whatever it is. i have to 'let go' this particular guy. sepertimana aku telah men'let go'kan orang orang yang pernah hadir dalam hidup aku secara langsung atau tidak langsung. i have to move on.


and the most important thing is that aku redha dengan semua kehendakNya.

oh lagi satu. dia ni second crush aku. first crush kan president. hahahaha. yang lain tu bukan crush kot. they are just a bunch of people coming in and out of my life to teach me lessons. i guess. kah!

cakap pasal orang orang yang pernah muncul dalam hidup aku ni. i once asked myself "kau menyesal tak letting those guys into your life?" dan aku jawab soalan aku dengan "tipulah if cakap tak pernah terdetik rasa menyesal tu. tapi nak menyesal pun tak guna. benda dah jadi. just learn from it and dont make the same mistake again." hmm. yang tu pun depends on orang yang masuk dalam life aku. ahh. nak cerita kang panjang pulak. so biar jelah. hahah.

p/s: aku nak story pasal benda lain. last last benda lain pulak yang terstory sekali. ape sehh.

Wednesday, 30 April 2014

fid III

goodbye fid.

harini kerja. lastday aku kerja dengan fid. lastday aku jumpa dia.

sedih. itu yang aku rasa sekarang. sebak pun ada jugak. haha. tapi dia takkan tahu. sebab aku masih punya ego.

"senyumlah. tak payah lah sedih sebab aku nak berhenti." dia cakap kat aku yang tengah sapu store.

"heh. takde masa aku nak sedih sebab kau." aku balas dengan ego yang masih wujud dalam diri.

"fine." katanya seakan merajuk.

aku terus sambung sapu.

time dia nak balik. aku sibuk layan customer. aku sempat dengar dia cakap kat aku "okay. aku balik dulu."

aku hanya angguk dan senyum sikit. tu pun entah dia nampak ke tidak.

even aku tak tengok pun muka dia time tu. aku nampak belakang dia jalan menuju pintu. aku sibuk pulangkan baki kepada customer. bila aku toleh balik ke pintu. dia dah takde. aku tinjau tinjau kat luar. dia memang dah takde.

rasa macam aku tutup mata saat dia pergi.

harini. banyak kali jugak fid suruh aku senyum. ketara sangat ke muka aku? aku rasa aku dah buat muka selamba dek habis dah. ciss.

p/s: gambar kita ada sekeping. tu je kenangan aku dengan kau yang berhitam putih. yang lain cuma kelabu. kah!

Friday, 25 April 2014

fid II

kau. selalu ada dalam kepala otak aku. sejak kebelakangan ni. terlalu kerap. sehingga aku tersenyum sendiri.

fid. do you aware of this?

Saturday, 19 April 2014

fid

there is one guy dekat seven e. dia akan kerja sama shift dengan aku. waktu first time aku tengok dia 'hmm. ada rupa. ada gaya. not bad.' ok usually if i gave that kind of remarks. it means that i like that person. so i might like him. and today i mean yesterday was the third day i worked with him.

i dont know what is this strange feelings. its a bother but it makes me smile without i'm noticing it. damn. even when i think about him just for a nanosecond. i got this massive butterflies-thing in my stomach. damn damn. why like that? oh god. what is wrong with me? btw. he's not so tall. about average height. tinggi sikit je daripada aku. hehe. he is four years older than me. a final year degree student. studying mechanical engineering. budak pandai doe. hahaha.

tadi time nak balik. kitorang dah habis kerja. aku suruh dia tunggu sampai my mom datang. supposedly it was a joke. dia dah keluar pintu seven e dah. then dia masuk balik. letak helmet kat tepi. terus borak borak dengan pekerja shif malam. after that my mom sampai. aku keluar seven e and dia pun keluar sama. 'ohh he waited for me.' hehehe aku tak sangka doe. hati aku tersenyum malu. kakaka ayat skema nak mampos.

that particular guy. i named him fid.

p/s: dont be a disaster lee.

p/s/s: aku rasa aku macam hidup dalam dunia aku sendiri. ke memang tu yang aku buat selama ni? oh crap.

Friday, 18 April 2014

black come back

hai. ingat black?
tadi jumpa dia. hidup lagi rupanya.
dah dua tahun aku tak nampak dia.
actually tadi kali kedua aku nampak dia after two years.
first time. semalam. dekat seven e.
dia masuk seven e time aku kerja.
and harini pun sama. just semalam dia tak perasan aku.
harini dia perasan aku. then dia senyum. aku senyum balik.
haha. he stills remember me. i guess.
whatever it is. i'm just glad.
ok tu je. bye.

p/s: a few hours back. my stomach went butterfly. damn.

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Saturday, 12 April 2014

stronger III

dah setahun memori pahit itu berlalu.
rasa sakit masih terkesan.
aku takkan lupa apa dia dah buat kat aku. never.
i will forgive. but never forget.
heh. mana boleh lupa.
dah nama pun memori.
melainkan aku hilang ingatan.
andaikata tiba tiba terserempak dengan dia. aku akan buat dunno je.
haha tu je nak bagitau. okbye.

p/s: dia dah mati dalam hidup aku tahun lepas. eiihh. benci pulak aku cakap pasal dia. fuck!

Sunday, 6 April 2014

untitled II

pernah tak terfikir nak ada robot lover?
hahah. ni sebab aku tengok cerita jepun. pasal robot yang design khas untuk jadi lover kita. all the criteria that we want boleh apply kat robot tu. well. robot is always be robot. it is programmed to say 'i love you' to the owner.

nahhh. aku tengok cerita tu sweet memang sweet. ada terfikir jugak nak ada. hahaha bila fikir balik. tanak ah. buat serabut ja. but in this real world. does that thing even exist? dalam cerita tu. the robot is labelled as electrical appliance. and in the end. the robot have its own will. ego dia outcome the program encoded in its brain. and its not an 'it' anymore. not a thing. robot tu considered as human being that have feelings. sedih jugak ending dia. huahuahua.

btw. final ada dua paper lagi. wish me all the best of luck!

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

sampaikan

Tuhan, tolong sampaikan rindu aku pada dia yang aku rindui.

Thursday, 27 March 2014

C.M.T

hope that you still remember me.
do your best in sukma.
and you owe me something.
dont forget that.
ttm always.

with love, me.

p/s: sorry sebab delete entry pasal awak yang dulu dulu. i have my reasons. looking forward to snap picture with you untuk sem depan. this sem dapat snap picture dengan awk dah. hehe. *sengih* 

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

stranger

aku berjalan keluar daripada blok kuliah. that time aku sorang je. aku nampak this one guy bawa dua polisterin. ok tak kenal. aku ignore. masa turun tangga tu. aku dengar footsteps kat belakang aku. bunyi tu rapat sangat. rasa cuak dah timbul sikit. tiba tiba ada suara tegur aku.

"awak, awak." aku toleh. terkejut. oh. that guy tadi.

"awak dah makan?" dia tanya. kebetulan pulak otak aku tengah fikir nak makan apa. nak makan kat mana.

maka cepat je aku jawab "belum."

"saya ada makanan lebih ni sebab ada program tadi. awak nak?"

aku macam orang ngantok disorongkan bantal. rezeki. "boleh je." aku senyum. "ada program apa?" aku saja berbasa basi.

"ada program fakulti. majlis bubur lambuk. ni daripada mana jalan sorang sorang?" dia hulurkan satu polisterin kepada aku.

"terima kasih. tadi hantar lab report. ni course apa? part berapa?" banyak tanya pulak aku. curious kot. haha.

"ladang part 3. awak?"

"sains part 4."

then dua dua diam. kami jalan seiringan. "lambat awak hantar report?" dia tanya lagi.

"eh tak. ni saya hantar awal. sepatutnya hantar hari isnin. tapi saya balik this weekend. tu yang kena hantar harini. hmm nama siapa? saya alia." 

"saya irfan. awak balik mana?" 

"bangi kat selangor."

"ohhh. awak. minta nombor fon."

dan aku dengan lurusnya pergi bagi. apa aku fikir ek masa tu?

"awak. makan tau makanan tu. ikhlas saya bagi. lagipun saya yang masak tu." dia bagitahu sambil ketawa.

"okay. thank you so much." aku senyum lagi.

dan kitorang  pilih haluan masing masing. dia ke kiri. aku ke kanan.

on the way nak balik bilik. aku monolog sendiri. 'semoga murah rezeki kau. irfan' aku sengih.

'what a stranger' kann?

btw, ni situasi two weeks ago. 

Friday, 21 March 2014

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

saya suka awak

ternampak orang itu untuk pertama kali setelah beberapa lama tidak berjumpa.

perasaan itu terbit semula.

dia senyum. dan orang itu pun senyum.

suasana diam seketika.

"saya masih suka awak." dia berkata.

orang itu menoleh ke arahnya. seperti hendak berkata sesuatu.

'saya pun sama.' hati kecil orang itu bersuara.

luahan yang hanya orang itu dan maha pencipta yang dengar.

dia mengharap orang itu membalas kata katanya. tetapi yang dia dapat hanya pandangan mata yang redup sayu.

"maaf jika kata kata saya tadi buat awak tak selesa. lupakan je. anggap macam tak pernah berlaku." dia meninggalkan orang itu sambil melambai tangan tanpa menoleh ke belakang.

selepas dia pergi. orang itu berkata perlahan, "saya suka awak. sampai bila bila pun perasaan ini takkan hilang."

Sunday, 16 March 2014

love

find my birth month. and you will be loved.

aku suka balik rumah. sebab dekat rumah penuh dengan kasih sayang.

sebelum final. mohon restu mama dengan ayah dulu :)

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

mr. president II

today. i met him again. heeee. i'm so thrilled. tak sangka pun akan jumpa dia dekat dsg.

tadi time class physics. madam suruh pergi dsg tengok physics innovation. madam jadi supervisor kat situ. tu yang satu class turun dsg. masuk masuk tengok ramai budak fakulti. hah! otak pun terus fikir president. hahaha. sorry cant help it.

mata melilau 'mana president ni'. ok! nampak kawan dia. dan dalam radius yang sama. tadaaaa! 'there he is!' aku excited gilaaa. dah sengih dah. then cari madam dulu. tunjuk muka. baru jalan jalan dekat booth dia. dia buat solar oven. kinda cool.

then kawan dia tanya "booth mana paling best?"

"yang ni lah." aku tunjuk booth diorang.

"yeke ni?"

"iyeee"

"sebab ape? sebab ada president eh?"

aku sengih je. lepas tu angguk. "ha ah."

ok jujur kan aku? kahkahkah.
oh btw. he knows my name. my fullname excluded my father's name. tak sangkaaa :3
and. i took picture with him. happy happy happy. agaknya lepas ni. bila lagi dapat terserempak dengan dia?

till we meet again. someday.
p/s: terus tak terasa sakit luka aku tu lepas jumpa mr. president. haha. ok gimik. byeee.