sneak peek

stop for awhile. and look back. what do you see?

history. memory. tear. laughter. sadness. happiness.

one of the most important thing is--

i see you. a stranger. 

now. you're in my list. runner up.

never thought of that. ever.

its been almost a year. we're together.

how does it feels with me by your side?

how do i feel when you're by my side?

i feel accompanied. loved. 

you taught me about patience.

that's what i remembered most.

then. i'm glad to be with you.

create moments with you. 

argue with you. 

making fun of stuffs and others with you.

and all of a sudden. you are my life.

i often said "you're the best sayang." yes. you really are.

loser

aku rasa cob nobler level 999999 harini. macam tah pape je. yang jadi mangsa. dia. haih. i am sorry for everything dearest. i really really really do. 

sincerely, me :)

p/s: aku j. okbye.

paris

one once told me. "i like this kind of key chain. it seems interesting."

and i said "better go to paris then..."

p/s: ... where the satisfaction is all yours.

C.M.T (five point three)

welcome back to jengka. orang sayang jengka kan? hahahaha. so sihat ttm? lama jugak tak jumpa. last jumpa time kat uia haritu. ape rasa dah jadi student degree ni? rasa matang tak? kahkahkah!

haritu saya datang training after a few weeks saya hilang sekejap. injured lah katakan. jari kaki yang dislocate kat uia tu. dah retak. sadiskan? saya rasa kaki kanan saya dah corrupt doe. jemm gini. haritu pun ayu ada. seronok kan bahan saya? kemain galak siap nganjing nganjing lagi. haha tak makan dalam pun. makan luar je. dasar mammoth. 

eg. sekarang. kt mf. batch kita tinggal berapa kerat je kan? yang ada ihsan, awak, saya, ayu. tu je. que dah habis. sufi habis jugak. ohh ada lagi zuhri, naim. tu jela. haih. dah last sem ni bila tengok balik memori dalam mf. banyak sangat. rinduuuu nanti. satu team macam family. dapat coach macam papa sendiri. dapat teammates macam adik beradik sendiri. seghonok tahu?

ingat tak keseng ada tanya satu soalan ni. saya ade tanya kat ayu. dia jawab "aku sayang dia sebagai seorang sahabat." jawapan saya untuk soalan keseng tu "saya sayang awak sebagai ttm. tak lebih tak kurang." zaman kegemilangan kita dah berlalu eg. haha but when kita still boleh tegur each other. tu dah cukup bagi saya.

kadang kadang saya taktau bila awak serius. sebab saya selalu tengok awak tak serius je. ade time kat uia tu saya tanya awak "bila plan nak kawen?" awak jawab "bukan dalam masa terdekat ni." dulu pun saya pernah tanya kat awak "ade pernah terfikir nak kawen dengan saya ke?" jawapan awak "ada. terfikir jelah." saya cakap "takpayah. lupakan je." lepas tu kita dua gelak. maybe ade benda yang kelakar kot time tu. 

sepanjang saya kenal awak. awak serius bila awak cerita masalah dengan awek awak kat saya. opss silap ex. yelaa time tu dia still awek awak. lepas cerita. awak tengok muka saya. saya tengok muka awak. terus jadi tak serius langsung. dengan awak buat lawak yang pandai sikit. cakap lawak bodoh kang nampak sangat tukang buat lawak tu tak pandai. hahahahah joke joke. no hard feelings okay?

ttm. kejar lah ijazah awak sebelum kejar azizah. hahaha. if nak kejar azizah tapi ijazah melepas. rugi. kan?

okay lah. ada rezeki kita sembang lagi. like old times. ttm always.

A.F.A III

alif. dah bangun? text you pukul lima tadi sampai sekarang tak reply. lepas sahur sampai sekarang i tak tido lagi. haha. bukan study. just tulis tulis ape yang i rasa. layan perasaan sekejap. bukak folder itu ini. terjumpa yang ni.

gambar first kita.

dua sem lepas kita dalam gambar ni. time tu kat dinner perdipsa. part kita handle. bila tengok pic ni. 'hitam jugak aku' hahahaha then 'handsome jugak mamat sebelah ni. boleh lah. ada rupa.' hahahhahahaha. lagi berdekah i sorang sorang kat sini.

flash back a year ago. i tak kenal sangat dengan you time ni. you yang rapat rapat dengan i sampai kena warning dengan classmates you. haha i pulak sibuk focus kat benda lain. PRESIDENT! ha ah laaa. apa khabar president ye sekarang? entah. but pic ni i yang request. nak snap dengan you. gedik jugak kan? 

tapi time ni memang niat saje nak simpan buat kenangan. taktau pulak now dah jadi orang penting dalam hidup i. dah jadi orang i sayang sangat after my family. gambar ni banyak memori. setiap ape yang terjadi lepas gambar ni di digitalkan meninggalkan rentetan peristiwa. satu persatu terungkai sendiri. 

sem lepas. baru tegur you secara real. haha sebelum ni ta real ke? virtual eh? tapi waktu sem empat you yang dok sibuk beriya kirim salam dekat i almost everyday. and i was like 'whats wrong with you dude? kau dah ade makwe. jangan dok kirim salam bagai kat aku.' yelaa. nanti bagi harapan. biasalah perempuan. mudah perasaan. 

and last sem jugak first time satu class dengan you. nampak dah you duduk depan sekali sebelah kanan. skema. nak tegur tapi biarlah dulu. ego. hahahaha. jual mahal dulu mama ajar. eh lagipun you still dengan makwe you. dalam seminggu jugak tak tegur you even ada percubaan you nak tegur i. until at one stage you fikir i dah tak ingat you. padahal punya lah i excited gila satu kelas dengan budak yang pernah diri sebelah sebelah dengan aku satu masa dulu. cehh dulu laa sangat. but still you bukan nak borak borak dengan i sangat. sibuk dengan skizo. haih. 

hahaha. teringat first time jumpe kat library. first time berdua je dengan you. time tu dah jadi crush ke belum ek? dahhh. i dah crush dekat you since you start kirim salam tu.simpan sendiri sudah. takpayah nak pukul canang lah. you tanya soalan killer "kau suka sape eh?" aku jawab ada lah. 

perghhh. kenangan bhaii. first moment. alif fahmi. thanks for everything. from the day we first had a conversation till now. do create moments with me again. and again. and again. and forever. i love you to the moon and back and forth and back and forth. hahahah okay lah. gtg to class. *waving*

and suddenly your text came in "morning sayang. the ghost wont come and fright because its already morning. but i will stay here by your side." me. smiling. baru ade semangat nak pergi class. heheheh *hugsandkisses*

bodoh ke gila?

"tak payah la study lagi. setiap masa study."

"tak boleh. kena study jugak. nanti bodoh."

"ohh. study banyak banyak nanti gila."

conversation stop kat situ je. 

takde life ke asyik nak hadap buku je?

terasa

apa kau buat bila kau terasa hati?

aku. aku diam. cari port baik jauh daripada manusia lain. layan perasaan.
bila rasa waktu tu dah sesuai. aku dah calm down. aku approach orang tu.
cakap dengan dia separa elok separa basuh. depends on person tu siapa.

if orang tak kenal. buat nak terasa kan?
hentam lah balik. biar kena batang hidung sendiri.
puas hati aku.

tapi terasa ni tak lama. buat ape terasa lama lama?
sakit hati. sakit otak. semua sakit lah.
dah puas terasa. let go. move on.

manusia hidup sekali je kat dunia.
if asyik terasa je. baik takpayah hidup.
macam tu haa. hidup segan mati tak mahu.
hahahaha.

dah. after a few hours. i'm gonna be me again.
lagi satu lah. aku patut terasa ke tak dengan orang yang dah taknak tegur aku?
tak. orang tu tak bagi manfaat kat aku pun.
aku tanya. aku jawab.

manusia macam tu.
hanya bernyawa dalam fantasi ciptaan sendiri.
hanya bergaul bersama golongan dia sendiri.
dia taktahu dalam golongan dia tu ada duri dalam daging.
kesian.  disangkanya permata. rupanya kaca.

dah apa aku merepek ni. hahaha. dah tak terasa dah.

where's my famimeerkat? nyorok eh?

sephia

#shinkansenlipstickmerah
#famimeerkat
#hipsterdinner
#iloveyou

sky and moon

"if you miss me so much. keep in mind that we live under the same sky.

because.

when i miss you so much. i always remember that we look over the same moon."

stay strong, A.

For what had happened. I can accept it open-heartedly. Someone often said that everything happens for reasons.

Did I put my standard too high that eventually it destroys me? 

To you. I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done. There are things that have been done can’t be undone. You deserve to get what you work for. That’s your effort. My bad not to appreciate it. I promise. I won’t do that anymore.

Sometimes there are things that should be kept to ourselves in order to avoid drastic emotional breakdown. Yes. Keep things to myself. Let it buried inside me.

As for me. I have to struggle even harder. Maybe my effort is not yet enough. Maybe my expectations do not synchronize with my effort. I know. Study smart. For the time being. I am not engaging myself to anyone. Leave me alone. I don’t disturb your hectic life. So don’t disturb mine. 

The jealousy is still there but one must learn to share the happiness of others success. Especially when other person is the person whom we love the most.

Even when I'm sitting next to you. The guilt is still there. Somehow rather I feel ashamed for what I did earlier. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.

p/s: stay strong, A. *smile*

alip pami comel

ni lah alip pami bila dia jalan sexy.
BHAHAHAHAH!!!