sometimes

sometimes. i just wonder. i'm the one who's always make you hurt. how much can you take it? how maximum it could be? i'm sorry. am i good enough for you? it feels like i'm the bad guy. seeing you hurt a lot making me want to distance myself from you. so that things will be normal again. we are too close. too close until i cant see the gap. when there is no gap. once it tear apart. it cant be brought back together. because the damage is huge. another thing is. it feels like i'm being too dependable on you. and i dont like that. i am an independent person. when i met you. i simply let my guards down. it fears me a lot. i dont want to owe people in any aspects. money. time. humanity. and others. but i just did. sometimes. being too happy scares me. because in just any time. you can be crying your lungs out for a million reasons. or just for no reason at all. sometimes. i have to learn back from scratch. basic thing. got to learn how to love myself again. too much negative vibes in me kills me from the inside. like i said. i have my own ego. and i still have it now. whatever. sometimes i hate you. like fucking hate you. at the same time. i dont want you to go. i hope that i wont get bored with you. is letting you in is another mistake? hope not. we both should try harder. i'm hurt. but i'm fine.