Af, i'm sorry.
i dont know why harini like emo nak mati. padahal the day before i was like so damn excited to meet him. then today we ended up fighting. for silly reasons. fak ah.
today meet up with Af was delightful. but it was not the best date ever i would say. still it was his effort who are willing to come and see me. despite the hot and sweat he had gone through. dia tolong tanya kan pasal my book and still we end up like we were fighting. but no. aku tak gaduh pun dengan dia.
when he called, i answered it. last last aku yang macam nak marah dia? why doh? shit lah. Af selalu cakap yang dia okay. he's fine. its okay. everything seems to be alright. but is it true? is it true Af? are you suffering when you're with me? am i that difficult to you?
aku pernah tanya dia "susah tak jaga aku?"
dia jawab "tak susah. mencabar."
as for today? i was a disaster.
i'm sorry Af. for all my fault. for everything. i'm truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. if there's an 'if'. then life would not be as surprise as it should be. so i wont say the 'if' sentence. because i believe everything happens for a reason or it my be reason(s).
Af. you're still and always be my booster, my positive vibes, my sunshine, my sweetheart, my friend, my bestfriend, my love, my foe, my knight, and my husband.
xoxo, shinkansen.
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