me. i am going to be a dentist. my lecturer once told me "doktor gigi ni, orang akan datang kat kita bila sakit gigi je. tapi punca sakit gigi tu bukan daripada gigi. and pesakit ni expect kita boleh solve semua. and kita nak solve kan macam mana? ofcoz lah dengan cari punca sakit tu and get rid of it."
me. as a typical human being yang ada perasaan. dan sekarang tengah sakit. sakit hati. macam mana nak solve? same. find the cause of pain and get rid of it.
now you tell me. how the hell i'm going to get rid of the pain when the one causes it is the one who i loved the most? kau bagitahu aku sekarang?
i can't. that's the problem. i can't get rid of you. but i can try to avoid you. yet the outcome is not promising at all.
kau takpayah risau. aku akan ingat sampai mati. itu pasti.
i never felt this useless and hopeless in my entire life. saddest moment of all. if you said you know me well. then you were wrong.
outside. it's gonna rain. dah ada guruh kilat. awan dah hilang. langit gelap. hanya tunggu hujan turun mencurah jatuh ke pipi bumi. sama macam air mata yang akan jatuh di pipi aku. sejak bila aku lembik macam ni?
i cried all night all day and kau cakap aku penting kan study daripada kau. apa kau buta? didn't you see or notice selama ni aku buat apa?
i can't afford to lose any more of my mentality. i tolerate more than i should to. i crushed down my ego just for you. tapi apa aku dapat? dapat gaduh sebab benda bodoh.
why? why? why this tears won't stop coming out from my orbital foramen? kau ada tips tak macam mana nak berhenti menangis. penat tahu? harini dah rabu petang. esok dah khamis. apa aku buat ni? exam minggu depan weh. bangun weh bangun. sedar diri sikit weh.
Ya Allah, kembalikan rasional aku balik. aku mohon.
dan kau. aku masih sayangkan kau. aku tak bersedia untuk disakiti lagi. kerana ini paling sakit pernah kau beri.
air mata aku masih tak mahu berhenti mengalir. ada nampak hulu atau hilir sungai ke mana mana kat muka aku ni? heran.
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